Parshas Eikev - Dating Lesson

During dating it is conceivable that one party will be out of town to meet/visit the other party.  We must be very careful to keep our obligations to the visiting party, and not do anything to make them feel alone.  It is part of the mitzva to love converts.  See the last paragraph of the Chinuch 431, who implies making a stranger/immigrant/visitor feel comfortable is something learned from this mitzvah, but is not neccesarily part of the mitzvah itself.

 מצות אהבת הגרים

   

(א)שנצטוינולאהובהגרים,כלומרשנזהרשלאלצעראותםבשוםדבר,אבלנעשהלהםטובהונגמולאותםחסדכפיהראויוהיכולת.והגריםהםכלמישנתחבראלינומשארהאומותשהניחדתוונכנסבדתנו,ועליהםנאמר[דבריםי',י"ט]ואהבתםאתהגרכיגריםהייתם.ואףעלפישיכללהוכמוכןהציוויבישראל,שנאמרעליוואהבתלרעך[מצוהרמ"ג],שהריגרצדקבכללרעךהוא,הוסיףלנוהשםבומצוהמיוחדתלובאהבתו.וכמוכןהדברבמניעהמלרמותאותו,שאףעלפישהיהבכללולאתונואישאתעמיתו[מצוהשל"ח],הוסיףלנוהכתובבומניעהמיוחדתלובאמרווגרלאתונה[מצוהס"ג],ואמרובגמרא[ב"מנ"טע"ב]שהמאנההגרעוברמשוםלאתונווגו',ומשוםוגרלאתונה,וכמוכןמבטלמצותואהבתלרעך,ומצותואהבתםאתהגר.

   

משרשיהמצוה.כיהשםבחרבישראללהיותלולעםקדושורצהלזכותם,ולכןהדריכםוציוםעלדרכיהחנינהוהחמלה,והזהירםלהתעטרבכלמדהחמודהויקרהלמצואחןבעיניכלרואיהם,ויאמרועםה'אלה.וכמההיאדרךנעימותוחמדהלהתחסדולגמולטובהלאשרהניחאומתווכלמשפחתביתאביוואמוויבאלחסותתחתכנפיאומהאחרתבאהבתואותהובבחירתובאמתושנאתהשקר,ובהיותנוזוכיםלמדותטובותהללותחולטובתהאלעלינוותדבקבנו,ושוםדברלאתמנענוממנו,כיהטובהתתפשטבטוביםוהפכהברעים.

   

מדיניהמצוהמהשאמרוזכרונםלברכה[שםנ"חע"ב]שלאיאמראדםלגרזכורמעשיךהראשונים,ומהשאמרו[סנהדריןצ"דע"א]גיוראעדעשרהדרילאתבזיארמאהבאנפיה,וכלזהשלאלצערובשוםענין.והפלגתהאהבהשהפליגובהםעדשאמרושהשוההכתובאהבתםלאהבתהמקום,שבהםנאמרואהבתם,ובאהבתהמקוםואהבת,כמושכתבתיבסדרמשפטיםלאתעשהו'[מצוהס"ג].ויתרפרטיהבמדרשותובמקומותכגמרא.

ונוהגתמצוהזובכלמקוםובכלזמן,בזכריםונקבות.

  ועובר עליה ומצער אותם או שמתרשל בהצלתם או בהצלת ממונם או שמקל בכבודם מצד שהם גרים ואין להם עוזר באומה, ביטל עשה זה. ועונשו גדול מאד, שהרי בכמה מקומות הזהירה תורה עליהם. ויש לנו ללמוד מן המצוה היקרה הזאת לרחם על אדם שהוא בעיר שאינה ארץ מולדתו ומקום משפחת אבותיו, ולא נעביר עליו הדרך במצאנו אותו יחידי ורחקו מעליו עוזריו, כמו שאנו רואים שהתורה תזהירנו לרחם על כל מי שצריך עזר, ועם המדות הללו נזכה להיות מרוחמים מהשם יתברך, וברכות שמים ינוחו על ראשנו. והכתוב רמז טעם הציווי באמרו כי גרים הייתם בארץ מצרים, הזכיר לנו שכבר נכוינו בצער הגדול ההוא שיש לכל איש הרואה את עצמו בתוך אנשים זרים ובארץ נכריה, ובזכרנו גודל דאגת הלב שיש בדבר וכי כבר עבר עלינו והשם בחסדיו הוציאנו משם, יכמרו רחמינו על כל אדם שהוא כן.

 

 

This idea is clearly expressed by Mark Twain:

(Setting: Huck, allegedly from England)
"What is it you won't believe, Jo?" says Mary Jane, stepping in with Susan behind her.

"It ain't right nor kind for you to talk so to him, and him a stranger and so far from his people. How would you like to be treated so?"

"That's always your way, Maim -­ always sailing in to help somebody before they're hurt. I hain't done nothing to him. He's told some stretchers, I reckon, and I said I wouldn't swallow it all; and that's every bit and grain I DID say. I reckon he can stand a little thing like that, can't he?"

"I don't care whether 'twas little or whether 'twas big; he's here in our house and a stranger, and it wasn't good of you to say it. If you was in his place it would make you feel ashamed; and so you oughtn't to say a thing to another person that will make THEM feel ashamed."

"Why, Maim, he said -­"

"It don't make no difference what he SAID -­ that ain't the thing. The thing is for you to treat him KIND, and not be saying things to make him remember he ain't in his own country and amongst his own folks."

I says to myself, THIS is a girl that I'm letting that old reptile rob her of her money!

Then Susan SHE waltzed in; and if you'll believe me, she did give Hare-lip hark from the tomb!

Says I to myself, and this is ANOTHER one that I'm letting him rob her of her money!

Then Mary Jane she took another inning, and went in sweet and lovely again -­ which was her way; but when she got done there warn't hardly anything left o' poor Hare-lip. So she hollered.

"All right, then," says the other girls; "you just ask his pardon."

She done it, too; and she done it beautiful. She done it so beautiful it was good to hear; and I wished I could tell her a thousand lies, so she could do it again.

 -----Huck Finn, Chapter 26  (emphasis mine)

Final estimated Chodosh starting dates from the Guide to Chodosh

Sent by R' Yoseph Herman----

CHODOSH BULLETIN 12 AUG 14

The latest report from the US Dep’t of Agriculture confirms that the harvest and spring wheat and barley have begun. That is allowing us to formulate the recommended Chodosh cutoff dates for the forthcoming season. These are given below. Note that dates given below for oats used in Quaker and General Mills (such as Cheerios) cereals may still change.

FRESHLY BAKED ITEMS USING SPRING WHEAT including breads, challahs, bagels, rolls, pizza and some cakes and cookies. May be Chodosh in the mid-West (such as Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, Minneapolis) after a PURCHASE date of Aug 18. Elsewhere in the US, Aug 25.

PACKAGED FOODS FROM SPRING WHEAT not including noodles and pasta may be Chodosh starting a PACKING date of Aug 18, PURCHASE date of Sept 1.

NOODLES AND PASTA may be Chodosh starting a PACKING date of Aug 25, PURCHASE date of Sept 8.

BARLEY such as pearled barley may be Chodosh starting a PACKING date of Aug 18, PURCHASE date of Sept 1.

OATS in non-cereal applications, such as oats flour in cookies, may be Chodosh starting with a PACKING date of Aug 4, PURCHASE date of Aug 28. Oat meal and other oats products from Quaker may be Chodosh with a PACKING date of Aug 19, PURCHASE DATE OF Sept 3. Cheerios may be Chodosh starting a PACKING date of Sept 15, PURCHASE date of Oct 1. Cereals from most other manufacturers, the oats may be Chodosh with a PACKING date of Sept 1, PURCHASE DATE of Sept 15. Remember, the oats dates for Quaker and Cheerios will probably still be revised.

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